Vanessa Pinney’s Blog

January 20, 2009

no reason at all

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 9:37 am
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That’s the world we’re living in- people will plot for the sake of free parking. Or for no reason at all.

We’re all bored, Brian, desperately bored. We’re like children left for too long in a playroom.
After a while we have to start breaking up the toys, even the ones we like.
There’s nothing we believe in.


January 15, 2009

The rules of attraction

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 1:42 pm

When I was in high school, I used to read a lot of American 80s lit.
I never really understood what Bret Easton Ellis meant by: “No one will ever know anyone, just deal with it”, words  spoken by a character in “Rules of Attraction”. After lots of goings and comings and surprises and bitter turning points, maybe I can say I am getting closer to Ellis. And to his overwhelming disillusionment.
I have known Brian for 8 years. I was ready to say he knew me better than anyone. But how can someone who behaves like that be doing it for my good? I don’t think he knows what’s good for me anymore.
I hate him.

January 8, 2009

back back back

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 10:59 pm
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I was back in Toronto for a few days again, but it’s time to leave now.
Every time I am leaving, my mother makes a scene.
She moves her right hand, as if she wants to grab a bottle, which she can’t even hold.
Goodbye Mommy. I am going back to my other world, back to my house in the smartest district of the
town, where the beautiful building fronts are constantly redecorated, where socially presentable men and
women go out to eat in exclusive delicatessens and drive around in their BMW’s. I am going back to my
boyfriend, Brian Steiger, who cares for me and loves the way in which I cause him excruciating pain, I am
going back to my job, that I am good at, and I love. In everyone’s mind there’s the world that we choose
for ourselves, which excludes all the other worlds.

Air Conditioning and no thoughts

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 12:07 am
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I don’t know how I was able to survive 18 years of my life without drowning in the huge bucket of shit that
is my family.
The only thing that gives me hope is that sometimes when you are an asshole you get the end that you
deserve (yes, I am talking about you, mom).
I’d better go back to prepare the interview. I want to show Paul Hampel that he’s not dealing with a cub
reporter, and I don’t want him to think he’ll have a easy time with me just because I am a woman and I am
attracted to him. Brian, who is Paul’s psychologist, told me that Paul is kind of a viscid playboy. Anyway,
without Brian I couldn’t have gotten in contact with Paul Hampel — strange causality, but useful.

November 26, 2008

Brian at school

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 2:45 pm

I’m thinking about Brian Steiger… Once he told me about his time in school. He was the maverick who attended no lectures and sat no exams, a solitary with a syllabus of his own, but who managed to move on to a postgraduate degree and a successful professional career.

November 16, 2008

moving on

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 12:05 pm
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My contacts here are working fine, anyway. I am going to dinner with one of the bestknown journalists in Canada tonight. It could be a turn for the best.
The black dress should do the trick.
I wish Brian could be here and see how I behave, how I betray him every day.

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