Vanessa Pinney’s Blog

November 26, 2008

Brian at school

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 2:45 pm

I’m thinking about Brian Steiger… Once he told me about his time in school. He was the maverick who attended no lectures and sat no exams, a solitary with a syllabus of his own, but who managed to move on to a postgraduate degree and a successful professional career.


November 22, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 10:41 am
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My mother was convinced that animals were a good remedy against any kind of suffering.
At first she had a hamster, then a cat, a parrot, a turtle, two dogs, and finally a horse.  When she was fed up with a pet or it didn’t amuse her anymore, she would get rid of it and replace it with a new one. Feelings for her were interchangeable as objects.



November 19, 2008

On the run

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 7:08 pm

I’m on the run most of the time.
I slept four hours last night.
Going to my mother’s house for the night was a big mistake; the old nightmares came
back to get me.
Paul Hampel, the businessman I am following popped up in my dreams while I was
sleeping and started talking in my father’s accent, telling me I had to take care of my
Get out of my head, all of you! You belong to two different worlds. I can’t contaminate such
a charming person as Paul with my parents’ world.
When I woke up and saw the scraped ceiling above my head, I had a hard time breathing.

November 16, 2008

moving on

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 12:05 pm
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My contacts here are working fine, anyway. I am going to dinner with one of the bestknown journalists in Canada tonight. It could be a turn for the best.
The black dress should do the trick.
I wish Brian could be here and see how I behave, how I betray him every day.

November 2, 2008

sick homing

Filed under: Uncategorized — vanessapinney @ 3:51 am
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Back home. (if you are brave enough to call the gloomy suburbs of Ottawa “home”).
Don’t really know what I was expecting.

Brian Steiger, I miss you! I’m thinking to you…

Everything’s shitty here.
Can’t wait to go back to civilization.
I shouldn’t have accepted this job in Canada. It’s only for two
weeks and I’ve been here for 2 days but it feels like ages, already.
Every time I get out of the air-conditioned office at the newspaper
I start smelling the stink of home and I have to kick the stinky
memories back in their closet.
Which, as I swore 12 years ago, was going to be sealed forever.

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